We learn with experiences, either ours or the ones we were given as examples, for a long time I thought that Forget and Forgive were pretty close if not similar, wrong I was about those two.
Forgetting, or at least claiming we do, is just an illusion that we created to avoid a painful subject or a hurtful memory: truth to be known, we never forget anything and what was a bad experience in our past will often become a reference in our present or future. In the new hypnosis or NLP techniques, the practitioner doesn’t really “fix” the problem we seems to have today but in reality he or she will often go back to what was the root of it and work on how we can change our perception of it. I have worked with victims of violent crimes or abuses and they will be often carrying the weight of their past for all their life until they will understand and forgive (themselves and others).
Louise Hay is a fantastic example for people searching to heal themselves, she wrote many books in plain English and she is to me a reference that we should all have in our readings. Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer can also support in their own style the work that she left in front of us: bringing us to a place of peace only reached with honest forgiveness. A therapist can help you work in this new development of yourself showing a path where there is no victim or abuser and where your self-worth will never put you in a place of supposed victim.
Now we could ask where the Forgiveness does come from and it is most likely for us to never really feel it. The analytical part of our brain is not the place to start, this is a place of reason where there is a right and wrong, a victim and a victimizer, soon you may think punishment is needed and guilt of some type from one person to another is justified. The right place to start is in your heart, there only lay the power of total and unquestionable forgiveness. It is there in all of us to use and share, without reasons or conditions, just for the beauty to feel love again flooding every cell in our body. Remember that happiness is our nature and that the imbalance of hate, remorse, fear or guilt is just an illusion.
Trust yourself and you will not be or feel like a victim, you are in charge, you have always been.
Illustration by Lilijackslade